2016-08-04 в 14:56 

Anger What am I angry about? What/Whom do I blame and why? Whom/What do I feel resentment for and why? It makes me so mad when…
I’m completely fed up with… I hate…
Pain What about this makes me so sad? I am so hurt by… I feel so disappointed that…
What about this makes me so afraid? I’m scared that… It scares me when… Why does it scare me? What about this makes me feel insecure? What is the deep wound hiding underneath the anger and sadness? What painful thing does this situation remind me of?
I regret… I’m sorry that… What part of this situation do I take responsibility for? I didn’t mean to… I understand that… I know sometimes I… What do I want forgiveness for?
Deep down, I have the purest of intentions and they are… Deep down, in my heart, I want… I promise to… What are some solutions to this situation that I can think of? I hope that… I feel gratitude for I forgive… What do I appreciate? What love is beneath all of this that needs to get out and be heard?

To apply this process in a relationship, both people involved in a conflict sit down facing one another. One person begins by placing the questions (above) which apply to the five part process somewhere which is easy to see (so they can refer to them frequently). The other person does not get to talk during the entire process. They simply practice active listening. They don’t interrupt or defend themselves. They don’t say anything. They just sit back, give the other person their full attention and observing the process with the intention of fully understanding them. The person who goes first, goes through the same process as was described above, beginning with anger then moving to pain, fear, understanding and then love. Expressing any feelings and answering any questions pertaining to the specific part of the process they are at. However, this is not done silently or on a piece of paper. Instead, the truth is communicated directly to the other person (the one who is listening) out loud. When the process is complete, it is now the other person’s turn. While the first person now listens, the second person must begin all the way back at the top with their anger and go through the entire process as well.

2016-08-04 в 15:02 

All pain on this planet occurs for one reason. The reason is that people believe their thoughts.
The thought “I am alone” is just a thought. When it becomes painful, is when it becomes real to us. When it becomes painful to us is when we believe that it is true and we act as if it were true.
If we imagine what kind of person we would be, how our life would look and how we would feel if we did not believe the thought (or better yet did not have the thought in the first place), we can begin to see the practical value in questioning and changing our thoughts.

To begin this process you start with a thought. Any thought. For example: He/She made me feel bad. Then you ask yourself if you can know that “he/she made me feel bad” is 100% beyond a shadow of a doubt true? When you ask yourself this question, you will most likely feel doubt begin to seep up into your surety. Even though you may still believe he/she made you feel bad now you aren’t completely 100% sure! If the answer is yes, let it be yes. If the answer is no, let it be no.

Then you take the original statement and you reverse it. There are multiple ways you can reverse a thought.

You can reverse it back on yourself,
You can reverse it back on the other person,
You can reverse it to the opposite
You can reverse it to a statement of allowing/wanting (This is a particularly good reversal technique to use on feeling statements like “I feel embarrassed” or “I don’t ever want to feel embarrassed again”. Given the above example of he/she made me feel bad, you can reverse it back on yourself by saying: “I made myself feel bad”, you can reverse it back on the other person by saying: “I made him/her feel bad”. You can reverse it to its opposite which is: “He/She didn’t make me feel bad or he/she made me feel good.” You can reverse it to allowing by saying “I’m willing to feel bad”. “Or/And I look forward to feeling bad”. When you’re dealing with a particularly strong belief, it is good to apply every reversal technique to the one statement. Once you’ve come up with the reverse statement, you look for as many genuine examples that you do believe of how that reverse statement is true for you. Come up with a minimum of four examples. The reverse statement we are going to use for this example: He/She didn’t make me feel bad or he/she made me feel good. If I was to come up with examples to substantiate He/She didn’t make me feel bad or he/she made me feel good. It might look something like this:
In reality it’s my choice to believe what he/she said so it was my choice to hurt myself by believing what he/she said.
He/She gave me an opportunity to see a belief of mine out in the open that I want to change and this means that they are an integral part of my future happiness
He/She gave me an opportunity to be the person that I know I want to be and ultimately I am which is someone who does not simply react, but who seeks to understand the full truth of a situation.
He/She said what they said or did what they did because of ________. They had no intention to hurt me. I took what they did and turned it into hurt.
Their action actually had nothing to do with me it had to do with ____________.

We all have thoughts in our life that remain unquestioned. We all have thoughts which we simply accept as true. But an unquestioned thought… is the fertile ground for suffering.

2016-08-04 в 15:04 

To do this exercise, close your eyes and observe your breathing. Feel your thoughts bouncing around and just let them do that until they slow down. When you feel ready, imagine your consciousness or soul retracting back up your leg of the octopus and returning to source consciousness (the head of the octopus). As you do this, imagine leaving your identity in this life behind. See yourself leaving the story of your life, the people in it, your beliefs, your likes and dislikes, your past experiences all behind. Feel yourself stripping free of them so as to return to source.
Feel what that spacious potential energy feels like.
Then when you are ready, think of someone whose perspective you would like to see. Hold them as your focus and imagine finding the leg that extends from the octopus head you are in (source) down into their embodiment.
Imagine or sense or feel yourself going down the octopus leg into their perspective completely, having left yourself behind so all you are now is the consciousness who is feeling through their body, seeing through their eyes. Imagine opening your eyes AS them. Imagine smelling as them and tasting as them and most of all, feeling the emotions they are experiencing. How does it feel to be in their body? What are you thinking in their body? See if you can feel their past experiences and how those experiences are shaping their current perspective. If you are wanting to understand exactly how they experience a specific situation, let yourself live or re-live that experience AS them. Feel and see the difference between how they experience life and how you used to experience life when you were you.
Spend as much time completely immersing yourself in their perspective as deeply as you can. If you experience emotional reactions as a result of it, surrender and let it happen. Gain as much understanding and awareness as you can. BE them until you feel a sense of emotional and mental and physical comprehension. And then when you are ready, imagine retracting once again back up the octopus leg into the head of the octopus (source). But this time take your comprehension of the person whose perspective you went into, with you. Carry that comprehension and experience back down the octopus leg that extends to your perspective in this life. Feel yourself carrying that full awareness and understanding as you come back to your own life. And when you are ready, slowly open your eyes.

2016-08-06 в 07:57 

1. Выбирая из всех в мире, кого бы ты пригласил в гости на обед?
2. Хотел бы ты быть знаменитым? Чем бы ты хотел прославиться?
3. Прежде чем сделать телефонный звонок, ты когда-нибудь репетируешь то, что собираешься сказать? Почему?
4. Каким тебе представляется идеальный день?
5. Когда ты в последний раз пел наедине с собой? А для кого-то другого?
6. Что бы ты выбрал: сохранить в ближайшие 60 лет своей жизни тело или разум себя 30-летнего?
7. У тебя есть тайное предчувствие о том, как ты умрешь?
8. Назови три общие черты, которые есть у тебя и твоего партнера.
9. За что в своей жизни ты чувствуешь наибольшую благодарность?
10. Если бы ты мог изменить что-либо в процессе своего воспитания, что бы это было?
11. За 4 минуты расскажи своему партнеру историю своей жизни как можно более подробно.
12. Если бы ты мог проснуться завтра, приобретя определенное качество или способность, то какое/какую?
13. Если бы хрустальный шар мог рассказать тебе правду о твоей жизни, о будущем или о чем-нибудь еще, что бы ты хотел узнать?
14. Есть ли что-то, что ты мечтал делать в течение длительного времени? Почему ты не сделал этого?
15. Назови самое большое достижение в своей жизни.
16. Что ты больше всего ценишь в друзьях?
17. Какое твое самое заветное воспоминание?
18. Самое страшное воспоминание?
19. Если бы ты знал, что в течение одного года ты внезапно умрешь, ты бы изменил что-нибудь в своей текущей жизни? Почему?
20. Что значит дружба для тебя?
21. Какую роль любовь и привязанность играют в твоей жизни?
22. Назови положительные характеристики своего партнера, примерно 5 пунктов.
23. Насколько близки члены твоей семьи? Считаешь ли ты, что твое детство было счастливее, чем у большинства других людей?
24. Что ты думаешь о своих отношениях с матерью?
25. Составь по три правдивых предложения, начинающихся с «мы». Например, «Мы оба в этой комнате думаем о…»
26. Продолжи эту фразу: «Мне бы хотелось разделить с кем-нибудь…»
27. Что должен знать о тебе партнер, с которым ты хочешь стать близкими друзьями?
28. Расскажи своему партнеру, что тебе больше всего в нём нравится. Старайся быть предельно честным.
29. Поделись со своим партнером самым неприятным моментом из твоей жизни.
30. Вспомни, когда и от чего ты в последний раз плакал.
31. Какая вещь тебе кажется настолько серьезной, что шутить о ней — невозможно?
32. Если бы ты должен был умереть в этот вечер, что важное бы ты хотел сказать и кому?
33. Твой дом со всем твоим имуществом загорелся. После спасения близких у тебя есть время, чтобы вернуться в дом еще раз и спасти какую-то одну вещь. Что это за вещь и почему ты выбираешь ее?
34. Смерть кого из членов твоей семьи задела бы тебя больше всего? Почему?
35. Поделись личной проблемой и попроси партнера посоветовать, как ее решить.
36. Расскажи о своей первой любви.