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18:48 

BPD and around that

Taihem
very,very relevant. to me.
dont know how clinically meaningful that is


How is today going to go? How are my moods going to be? How are the people in my life going to act towards me today? How am I going to perceive the people in my life who interact with me today? Are they just being nice to me because they want something? Are they being condescending? Are they just pretending to care like everyone else?


Me: *reads something I wrote a week ago.* What is this? Who talks like this? I don’t even sound like this at all. Oh God, what if I replaced another version of myself in a different reality?


borderline things: being in love

-wanting to text someone 24/7 just to interact with them
-always staring at ur Favorite Person when they’re doing something and soaking up every detail
-saying “I love you” an excessive amount of times and the words start to lose their meaning but you just loVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH you gotta say it 24/7
-when they joke around with u and u take one tiny little possible implication behind what they said and make sure to never do that thing ever again. even if they probably weren’t even implying it
-CONSTANT ATTENTION AND AFFECTION !!!! CONSTANT !!!!
-always feeling like they can never love u as much as u love them

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Комментарии
2016-11-07 в 18:48 

Taihem
1. Their moods change a lot. This is not your fault most of the time. They just feel a lot, and when they’re attached to someone it can make their feelings stronger. It doesn’t mean that they feel all those things about you all the time.
2. They probably think you’re going to leave them about every day, sometimes more often. If they ask you if you still like them, it’s because they honestly don’t know if you still do. They need to hear it often.
3. If they get randomly angry in the middle of something that you don’t think needs that kind of response, it is usually because something has triggered them. Learn what triggers the person you’re with, so you can both work to prevent it.
4. Because they feel intense emotions, they also feel love and happiness at large proportions. This is great, because it means they really appreciate their relationships!
5. Their minds are often on the most emotionally simulating things in their lives, because emotions this strong are hard to ignore. This means you’re probably on their mind a lot.
6. They do not want to hurt you, if they truly love you. Sometimes when they get angry or depressed or anxious they feel like they need to hurt you or run away or that they don’t love you. This isn’t true, and they often regret or don’t stand by their emotional breakdowns after awhile. Sometimes immediately.
Things You Can Do:
1. Validate their emotions. Never call them too emotional, needy, dramatic, intense, etc. even if they call themselves that.
2. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Chances are, they really do hold onto your words.
3. If you are uncomfortable or need a break from them, which is okay, explain it in a way that makes them sure you aren’t going to leave and that you still love them or care about them.
4. Do something that makes them feel loved and cared for.
5. If they’re in the midst of some negative emotion, don’t say anything judgmental, don’t tell them what to do, and don’t fight with them. This would be a good time to say something reassuring and kind with no judgmental or controlling undertones. If this doesn’t work and it seems to be going in a loop, refer to number three or continue to tell them how important they are to you.
6. Remember that there are truths to everyone. Your person might feel like something is very sad, and it may not affect you at all. It doesn’t mean either of you are wrong to feel that way.
7. Spend lots of time with them! Spending time and using your actions is a good way to reassure someone of your love.
8. Learn what they love and learn what really upsets them. It’s always good to know someone and work to avoid hurting them. They can do this for you too!
9. Don’t take things to heart. I know this is hard, but when someone with BPD has a breakdown, they often say things that they don’t truly stand by in the end. When they apologize, they often mean it with their whole heart.
10. NEVER ignore them, unless you absolutely have to. If you can’t talk or don’t want to talk, explain this to them instead of ignoring their messages. When you ignore them, they assume you are going to leave them or that something is wrong.
Reasons Why Being with Someone Who Has BPD is NOT Bad
1. Their intense emotions are biological, in most cases. It’s the same thing as having less emotions. It is not a bad thing to feel deeply.
2. They, most likely, love you with all their heart. BPD people have the biggest hearts and really will work to do nice things for you and make you feel loved.
3. They are most likely loyal as hell, and will put a lot of time and energy into you.
4. Like any mental illness, BPD is something people do not want to have. This fact will help you remember that they are not deliberately trying to hurt you in any way and really do wish they didn’t have BPD. This is why they ARE NOT ABUSIVE
5. All relationships need work. Communicating and working together can actually strengthen the bond you two have.
6. It can be helpful for someone with BPD to have a relationship so they can practice ways to manage their emotions and actions. Chances are, the longer you’re with them, the more comfortable they will be with you.
7. They’re always there for you too! All people with BPD that I know, including myself, are very good at talking about issues and helping others with problems. If you want to talk, you can count on them to give you all of their effort to help.
8. Imagine dating someone with no emotions. That’d be probably a lot harder! Appreciate the deepness of your person’s feelings. It can make life a lot easier!
9. If they are in a relationship with you, it’s probably because they want to be with you. Keep this in mind when they start feeling negatively.
10. It’s a relationship! That’s always fun. It will have challenges like all relationships, but remembering that you are with someone you love will always make it easier.

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2016-11-07 в 18:48 

Taihem
me: i feel unloved
brain: i know!! how about you don't talk to Anyone and wait for them to notice and give you attention
me: yes! a great idea

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2016-11-07 в 18:51 

Taihem
self-care is punching people with bpd in the face because they are fucking annoying

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2016-11-07 в 19:19 

Taihem
Am i being myself or am i acting the way i think being myself should be like

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2016-11-07 в 19:19 

Taihem
Someone: how are you?
Me: promise you won't be annoyed?
Someone: yeah
Me: okay well please don't be mad or upset or anything but I'm not doing so well but don't feel obliged to help, I'm fine. Please don't be mad

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2016-11-07 в 19:19 

Taihem
Ugh i think the worst thing abt abuse is when ur constantly asking urself “but IS IT abuse???”
“Is this normal??”
“Am i just seeking attention???”
“Was it really that bad??”
“Did i overreact?”
I ask these questions all the time and im so sick of it i just want to know for sure

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2016-11-07 в 19:19 

Taihem
me: im a good person
bpd: No
me: yes i am, i do good things even when no one else is watching
bpd: you're just doing that to manipulate YOURSELF into thinking youre a good person
me: oh... snap... good point

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2016-11-07 в 20:13 

Taihem
lets talk about splitting over and over again until you can physically feel that crack in your very being
lets talk about going against all your morals just to get approval

lets talk about the euphoria of being texted first
lets talk about the days when it is a struggle to convince yourself that you fucking exist

lets talk about the feeling that nothing will ever work

lets talk about being unsure if you can continue living like this

URL
2016-11-07 в 20:15 

Taihem
Tell me I’m worth fighting for.

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2016-11-07 в 20:51 

Taihem
Overview of Diagnostic Criteria

All personality disorders have these criteria:

An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that is significantly different compared to the culture of that person. This includes at least two areas, including cognition, emotional response, interpersonal functioning, and impulse control.
This pattern shows up across many types of social and personal situations and does not change easily.
This pattern leads to significant distress or functional impairment.
In addition, BPD has these criteria (at least 5 must apply):

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
A pattern of intense and unstable relationships where the person rapidly changes between overwhelmingly positive response and overwhelmingly negative response to the other person.
Significantly unstable self-image, including lack of sense of self.
Harmful impulsivity in at least 2 areas (for example, reckless spending, driving, substance use, sexual activity).
Chronic suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-harm.
High emotional responsivity and difficulty managing emotions.
Chronic feelings of emptiness.
Difficulty controlling anger, and/or intense and inappropriate anger.
Short lived feelings of paranoia and/or dissociation due to stress.
Prevalence of BPD
It’s unclear exactly how many people have BPD. Typical estimates are about 1.6% of the population, but other studies have reported up to 5.9%. People receiving mental health care, especially inpatient care, are more likely to have BPD, while older adults are less likely to have BPD.

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2016-11-07 в 23:26 

Irit
Ветер на якоре | Supportive and refluffable | Страдятел | Мурчащий дятл, уникальный вид
Wow. That seems tough. =\ :pity:

2016-11-08 в 04:37 

Taihem
Irit, а у меня ак всегда недоумение - а что бывает иначе? Бывают люди которые не сомневаются а себе, в том как их воспринимают, в том что они сами чувствуют? Видимо блин, бывают.

URL
2016-11-08 в 04:37 

Taihem
Irit, а у меня ак всегда недоумение - а что бывает иначе? Бывают люди которые не сомневаются а себе, в том как их воспринимают, в том что они сами чувствуют? Видимо блин, бывают.

URL
2016-11-08 в 15:17 

Irit
Ветер на якоре | Supportive and refluffable | Страдятел | Мурчащий дятл, уникальный вид
Нну, в том как их воспринимают, наверное, многие сомневаются до той или иной степени, а как сомневаться в том что они сами чувствуют, я не понимаю, да. )

2016-11-08 в 17:51 

Taihem
Irit, бин, но ведь чувства они такие сложные! проще вего если телом - телом ве понятно. где нагрелось где расширилось..
но если я могу свои именно эмоции изменить, елси они быстро проходят, то блин как о них говорить... у меня там какаято мешанина разноцветная..

URL
2016-11-08 в 19:21 

Irit
Ветер на якоре | Supportive and refluffable | Страдятел | Мурчащий дятл, уникальный вид
И телом тоже можно. )
Как о чем-то, чем ты можешь управлять и что быстро проходит? ))) Чувствами-то оно от этого быть не перестает. ))))

2016-11-08 в 20:43 

Taihem
Irit, но они.. я не знаю как
тто объяснить. ну как нельзя назвать волнующееся море синим. потому что оно тут зеленое тут серое итд

URL
2016-11-08 в 23:34 

Irit
Ветер на якоре | Supportive and refluffable | Страдятел | Мурчащий дятл, уникальный вид
Ну вот вместо называния его синим объяснять, что оно тут зеленое тут серое, если уж надо. ) Хлопотно, зато точнее.

2016-11-08 в 23:57 

Taihem
Irit, хм. ... адо обдумать. я чем больше вглядываюь тем меньше ууерена...
скогда в общении - там оч понятно какие чувства вызвает человек или реплика. а когда просто я... то хз

URL
2016-11-09 в 01:04 

Irit
Ветер на якоре | Supportive and refluffable | Страдятел | Мурчащий дятл, уникальный вид
)))

   

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